Tolkiens Arda – Sveriges stora Tolkienforum

I’ve always felt that The Ring just commits suicide at the end.

It betrays Isildur only to be picked up by a Hobbit. Does its best by seducing the nearest psychotic narcissist.

Who rather than gaining any power at all runs off and hides under a mountain because people call him names.

“Well fk” thinks the Ring as it waits an age for its opportunity. Senses the approach of a Wizard and a Dwarven Lord! Slips away from the loser it’s been stuck with and is picked up … by another Hobbit.

Here it loses several good opportunities to get back to its master by sulking and ends up in the Shire where after several decades of hard corruption graft the best it has managed is passive aggressive birthday speeches.

Aaaaaand here’s another Hobbit. For fk sake.

Sulks for several years and then!

Holy shit! It’s a Wizard! Give me to the Wizard! Oh come on…

Tries to betray itself to the Nazgûl. Doesn’t work. Why? Hobbits.

Seduces a man of Gondor! Gets himself killed. Why? Hobbits.

Somehow we are in Mordor! Is that the little psychopath again?! Let’s just have a word with the little shit about betrayal.

Hah! Got this one killed! An orc will be along any second … nope Hobbit. “”@&!

How can we seduce this one? GARDENING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Just give me back to the last one. I think I was getting someplace.

Finally at the very brink of destruction it manages to get a Hobbit to try to claim power. Reveals itself!

And is promptly stolen back by the useless psychopathic recluse from 3 Hobbits back.

Gollum didn’t fall. The Ring jumped.